OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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