I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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