My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
