ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
