I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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