the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize