I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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