I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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