This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
