that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
