this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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