On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
