You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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