OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
