I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
