We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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