It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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