I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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