Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
