I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
