It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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