the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
