Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
