The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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