i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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