you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
