a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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