Quick, to the slutcave!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
