It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
