Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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