I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
