i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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