i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
