Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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