If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
