the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
