i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
