I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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