i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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