True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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