so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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