he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Still dying that you shit outside
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
