Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
