chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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