I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
