; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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