I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
