so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
