Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize