honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
