whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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