to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
