Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
