Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize