I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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