Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dicks are not precious.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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