We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I checked into jail on foursquare
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
