I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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