Don't you send me to vm
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
