2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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