There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
